The State of Freedom
A journey of Truth into the mind’s sanctuary
with the destination of inner Freedom.
The addiction.
Is the tyrannical mind omnipotent finally? Should I accept it? Am I going to live under his yoke until I die? Am I going to live in his sticky, complex web forever? Puzzled by its thousands of threads will I stay idle and count them one by one pointlessly, stupidly, until my entire life slips through my hands? And will my only deep joy be the periodical and transitory sweet confession of my inability to escape? Should I resign myself to it? Isn’t there any other way to live?
This is institutionalism, isn’t it? It is dependence, addiction. Out of the swirl of vain thoughts I do not bear to stay long. Do I want this for myself? And, if not, do I love him enough in order to do whatever it takes to get him liberated? But have I first taken compassion on him in order to be able to love him or do I only hate him for the joy of freedom which he deprives me of due to his lack of willpower for many years now?
Momentous questions, much more important than any of my anxieties about worldly acquisitions and achievements. With these questions unanswered, without march with vision and objective, devoid of hope for freedom, no achievement and no acquisition takes color; they all remain gray, dull, lifeless, and my heart remains cold.
After all, only panic is left as the only available cause for emotional excitement, the panic which dominates me whenever the mind thinks that he will lose the supposedly obtained possessions. And because, while I live in the gray world of the mind I am deprived of powerful experiences, I seem to become addicted to the panic and yearn for it in regular intervals, like a drug addict who yearns for his fix. I cannot give any other explanation to the reasonlessly fearful and hunted story of my life. So, I become easy prey to the so-called state of “reversed bliss”[1], which completely dominates me.
Enough, enough, enough
my life makes circles
like the small bird
but it can never reach you
enough, enough, ah enough
Verses: Michael Fakinos
Original performance: Charoula Alexiou
[1] My Master used to make use of this term often, in order to describe with ribaldry the humans’ inclination to negative thoughts and misery, so as to fill up ourselves with them.