So, for the umpteenth time the mind, preyed upon by the hardships of his futile roaming, starts to drag up the advices of his brother-teachers from his memory’s archive. His task is difficult, because it is necessary for him, despite the confusion caused by his despair, to figure out from where he will start and how he will proceed. He feels that he does not have any more courage for misguided choices and decisions. He makes the new start with the disquiet that he will err again.
He is in a state of ignorance; he does not have the necessary discrimination to match up the innumerable advices, prompts and directions of the brother-teachers and to put them in a convenient and logical order, in order to follow them with a train of thought which will lead him to relief, knowledge and freedom. He is afraid that in his confusion he will make the same mistake like many times in the past and grapple with difficult and inept essays, which at the present premature stage can provide him with nothing but weariness, overload and frustration.
Now he observes the knot and the strain which the fixed ideas cause to him; unconscious twitch of muscles, as if I were in the jungle in the night and heard noises and howls of threa-tening beasts. It is the natural instinct of self-preservation, the one which immediately brings every alive being in a state of readiness, as soon as it feels the presence of a threat. The instinct does not know the difference between the beast-animals and the beast-agonies. That’s why it crumples all muscles just in case and waits for the attack, ready to defend tooth and nail. And because obviously in the city where I live a beast attack never happens whereas the other beasts, the agonies, persist, the alarm condition expands until it becomes chronic. So, the whole body remains cramped with no real reason.
The mind surrenders to his nature; he hearkens to it and realizes that its primary need is the softening of the ground, in order to make it easier to dig. Moreover, this is under-standable: before the construction starts, first the earthworks have to be done. They are the first step. The other steps come next; besides, the operator of the earthworks machine is not obliged to know how the next steps are to be carried out. His only duty and the only thing he is concerned about is to soften the ground by stirring it and to dig deep enough, so that later on robust foundation can be built.
This is a new way of thinking for the unrestrainedly intrusive mind, who up to now wanted to have everything under control. From A he insisted on knowing what he will find in Z, because he forgot that with so much ensuring the magic of the unknown, the amazement, the beauty of the very life disappear.