The State of Freedom
A journey of Truth into the mind’s sanctuary
with the destination of inner Freedom.
Α21. The mind pronounces me not guilty
due to ignorance.
So the mind is afraid of the drab sadness of the gray; he longs for the self-blame in order to add color to his life. For this reason he hesitates and does not dare to vindicate himself here and now. But now that he has described in detail this fear and has eventually been able to see it in the face and become aware of its deeper cause, the fear has lost its power and does no longer determine the choices of my mind.
A blazing glow descends, a sparkle in the brain cells, and the mind impulsively opens the already always open door which leads to real life and without a second thought he runs and hazards a salto mortale in the free air, a leap of death for longstanding habits, thus abandoning for good the musty towerhut of the winds, which had been built on the clouds of fears and had been made out of grief and anxieties.
No sooner had the mind jumped than the towerhut disappeared, because it no longer had a habitant to justify its existence. Or rather, to say it better, it did no longer have a habitant to cause and sustain its existence. The clouds of fears also dispersed in no time, as if they had never come into existence. The musty towerhut and the dense clouds had all been no other than figments of the fears which had been keeping the mind apart from Earth, beyond and outside of the very life! The mind now realizes this and laughs, and his excitement is infinite times greater than the grief for the “lost years” which do not concern him anymore.
He is flying with stunts and maneuvers while he is heading for Earth. He is piercing the air, glad for the unprecedented joy he is now experiencing in this flight. Besides, he is very happy about what he is going to live, do, create and cause to happen down there on Earth, hand in hand with his brothers. New different experiences are ahead of him. These new experiences are going to render him the deep constant wellness of the altruistic endorphin, which will overcome the individualistic adrenaline, the cheap substitute of happiness to which the mind had been so far convinced to be addicted for life. This calculative, egocentric and “left-headed” fellow is about to become imaginative, merciful and “right-headed”, and the mind will soon finally balance somewhere between the two hemispheres of the brain, where peace is located and the gate of the universal light and joy is abutted.
The constant joy of the harmonious cooperation within a team awaits him; the uncontrolled emotional bouts of the self-consumed individualism belong now to the past. So the mind no longer trembles at the idea of the void that exists beyond and outside of the “Fear Institution”, simply because it is only up to him that no void will ever come into existence and that, instead, there will only be a warm heart, brotherly love and affectionate care, which will not only fill up the void inside him, but will also overflow and buoy up his brothers around him.
The acquittal of the mind has thereby taken place in a jubilant and spectacular, yet withal simple and noiseless manner; the acquittal refers to the formerly regarded as “lost years” which had been full of attachment and fixation to models, prejudices, convictions, expectations, fears, anxieties and self-blame. And while his flight towards Earth is going on, he does not lose the chance to mentally enter into the heart again and listen for a while to her message-carrying beats; he gets filled up with the energy provided by their stable and regular pulsation; he takes a deep breath of decisiveness and determination and starts a brief flashback to some of the oldest and mustiest cells of his now abandoned prison, in order to get his newly obtained freedom better established. He tells to himself:
- It’s not your fault that you thought that diseases and death constitute unquestionable distress. Your parents used to believe this, and so you also did; it is neither your parents’ fault, since they also learned it from others.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you learned to fear that you will suffer, miss or lose. Everybody around you used to be subject to the same fears, and so you just copied them, as they were your only handy and accessible teachers.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you are touchy and your legs get numb and your head flares up whenever somebody insults you. “We live only for the sake of a clear forehead” (Greek idiom which means “for the sake of social esteem”); this is what you have been hearing since you were a child, and you have even seen families disperse with the excuse of this goddamn forehead; even murders you have seen being committed for its sake. At the beginning, you could not understand why and what for all this fuss. But, finally, you did let this fuss get incorporated into your own cells, and so you stopped wondering; it did no longer seem irrational and far-fetched to you, even though it was.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you haven’t ever really cared about the anxieties of your brothers; it’s not your fault, because you had been trained to only focus on your worldly acquisitions and personal achievements. There used to be hardly any models of compassion in your paternal home; you have only been exposed to models of anxiety about possible losses and potential rejections.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you learned to separate and classify your brothers with the criteria of sex, social status, income, education and many other labels which you learned to attach to them. When you were born, you knew none of these. At that time you inadvertently possessed the truth that all these are actually nonexistent, as they are primeval brain children of prejudices, preserved and perpetuated by the fears of your brothers of all eras. But you were mercilessly bombarded by a lot of insane and baseless information; you believed it, and so all your fetal wisdom was dispersed like the dust in the four winds, as if it had all of a sudden passed to total nonexistence.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you have passed endless hours plunged in despair, while being confronted to the imaginary eventuality of absolute poverty which had obsessed your mind; it was only because you were seeing your father and so many fathers who were in the same state of great anxiety while they were struggling to fulfill the material needs of their families.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you have deemed yourself unable to live alone, for everybody around you was viewing loneliness as an unbearable distress and unforgiveable failure. Nobody came up to you to teach you how to be happy in the silence of aloneness and how to be hankering it as a remedy and not be avoiding it as a proof of the worst kind of misery.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you came to hate learning, because during your school years it has provided you with nothing but anxiety for your recognition by others. It was expected and predictable that you would stagnate as soon as the teachers left you alone. Hence, it’s not your fault that you became slothful and uninterested in education.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you became afraid of the opposite sex and hence for many years you approached the sister-women with the fear that you will be hurt again. It’s not your fault, because your environment was exerting on you great pressure, and so you were under emotional blackmail: you had to manage to find a woman and mate with her in order to be acceptable by the society.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault and you are not to blame for the “lost years” full of strain and despair during your unaccomplished academic studies. You had been told that without them you would be lost, and it took you many years until you stopped believing whoever said so and until you resolved to abandon your studies with a light conscience.
(pause for deepening)
- It’s not your fault that you harbor the feelings of envy and his twin sister, arrogance, because you have been tutored to count and calculate everything: how many people seem to be better than you and envy them awfully and how many seem to be not so good like you in order to console yourself with this thought. And it was normal that you got used to taking revenge from the weak and unsuccessful brothers for all your indigestible defeats without compassion, paying no mind at all to their own anxieties. By this you were receiving some evanescent joy, and you were able to temporarily ease yourself from the burden you were carrying in your chest due to your failure to be always the best in everything.
(pause for deepening)
Every time that the mind utters the phrase “it’s not your fault” he feels that he becomes increasingly detached from the worldly webs of guilt feelings and self-blame. A sweet nectar – perceptible as a real sensation in his physical body – is now being poured into his strained heart and cleans her auricles, ventricles, valves, aortas and arteries. It incises and lubricates them thoroughly, thus totally excluding the probability of a heart attack due to psychological reasons.
During the pauses between two consequent “it is not your fault” the mind allows the light feeling of innocence to simmer down every time anew, without each time chasing after the specific thought which might be up to save him. There is no such salutary thought; he knows this now. Therefore, he does not struggle to recall which exact thing is not his fault each time; he merely delivers himself to the very fact that it is not his fault; in other words, he surrenders to the feeling of innocence. This is enough for him; it fills him with wellness. This is a significant victory for the mind, because he rarely agrees that it is possible for answers, evolution and liberation to be produced without specific thoughts and logical associations.