Β1. The rapist-mind repents of his despotism.
The mind now realizes that all these years he has only been making demands on me. For him I was merely the medium which would fulfill his expectations for safety and social recognition. He was training my body, not for it to be healthy, joyful and full of vitality and welfare, but in order to be beautiful, so that he and the others would like it, thus giving him the approval he longs for.
He pushed me to work all day long, not in order for me to pass my life pleasantly and creatively, but for egotistic purposes: firstly, in order for him to have enough money and feel safe by making sure that he would not get hungry and, secondly, to receive the satisfaction that he finally did it. He urged me to take the liberty of talking to girls which he liked, not for me to enjoy love and emotional contact with them, but because he could not stand the idea to be a timid loser in a sector where other men succeed.
Even the morning relaxation exercises he mandated me to make absolutely concentrated, and he scolded me badly whenever I lazed about and lost myself in other thoughts, because he required me to do whatever it took for him to be quiet, peaceful and happy; he viewed the opposite as a failure.
He provided my body with food, not in order to minister, nourish and strengthen it, and ensure good health and vivacity for it, but for sheer selfish reasons: either to receive pleasure from the taste or to drown into the food any grief or anxiety or to not let the food be thrown in the trash (a psychological hangover from his parents’ fear of poverty and hunger, which originated in the period of the German occupation during the Second World War) or to avoid offending the hostess who had offered it to him or for several other reasons, all of which were related only to his own anguishes and not to my benefit.
These and many more has been expected and demanded from me by the mind in my entire life and has used me in order to satisfy his respective needs, thus raping me unashamedly and repeatedly.
Now he admits his mistake. He had not looked upon me as a human being; he had taken me only for an instrument, a tool, a soulless medium available for him to obtain whatever he yearned for. He did not give a damn about my feelings and the anxieties I went through, or whether I needed his love and tenderness. He never said to me “thank you”, to make me feel that I am worthy and that I do well. The mind was not mean; he had simply not thought that his instrument had feelings, for he had only a utilitarian kind of relationship with me. No one is voluntarily wicked. His worldly desires were so many that they did not leave him any space to think of anything and anybody else. His stern attitude caused me emotional deadlocks, muscular contractions, neuroses, like the ones I see around me in so many brothers who live with me in the century of velocity and excessive demands.
The mind now apologizes for having deprived me from the joy of every moment and having filled me with stress due to his attitude. He watches me through the mirror shrunk and oppressed and is thereby moved. He wants find a way to make amends. Hence, he decides to cover my emotional needs which he used to let starve all these years. He stares at me in the eyes and says to me: “Congratulations, my boy, you are a worthy fighter, until now you have done the best you could and you have given me great joys. Never mind if you did not always manage to be creative and active; I understand that you lacked love and out of this reason you fell into depression. Now I am giving you love openhandedly, with no ulterior motives this time, not in order to revive you just in order to force you again to run within the world and bring me the goods I long for, but because I love you and want you to be well, calm and happy, with no anxieties and useless muscular contractions. I want to see you enjoy the sleep of the righteous, relaxed and innocent, like the newborn infant in his cradle, under the absolutely safe auspices of the motherly adoration, with a sweet and light feeling of peace deeply rooted inside you”.
So, for the first time, the mind undertakes the role of mother and looks at me with adoration, emotion and gratitude straight into my eyes. He observes the parts of my naked body through the mirror and realizes that he has never given them the special attention which each of them deserves. They serve him without a break and all of them together ensure his decent survival by their deeds, and he, instead of dedicating them as much time as they need, taking care of them and giving them his love every day, worries constantly about the worldly acquisitions and conquests which he wants to obtain in order to prove himself worthy within the competitive and deluded society of his brothers.
Hence, he decides to pay the organs, tissues and cells of my body the attention they merit. He applies on my whole body the motherly caress of giving and love. He uses my hand for this purpose, not in a sexual and lustful way, but in an affectionate way; not to receive a satisfaction of any kind, but to render the skin cells care, joy and revitalization.
He devotes the required time to all visible parts of my body one by one, without forgetting the internal organs, which tirelessly work day and night serving him. While he caresses them affectionately, he talks to them and tells them how much he loves them, how beautiful is the life enclosed in them and how much joy they have given to him through the years. By hearing this, their cells straighten up and regenerate. Joy and contentment overwhelm them. They are now happy. “The cells of my body need simple and genuine things to be well”, contemplates the mind, “not complicated and fake worldly goods with big variety and complexity like the ones which I persistently hunt for”.
In other words, the mind found his teacher in the cells of my body. He took the lesson of simplicity and love and set as his goal and ideal to stop sometime yearning for complex and fragile worldly sources of joy and instead to be content with the basic and imperishable riches of love, care and affection which he will be exchanging with me and his brothers. And, in order to consolidate the new lesson which he just took, he makes the decision to pass some time with me every day, putting aside his worldly endeavors for a while, in order to breathe new life into me by providing me with whatever I may need, thus training himself in the inner attitude of motherly love and care, until this attitude becomes his second nature and is expressed instinctively, with no need for programming and reminders.
Eventually, the mind says to himself: “If you are joyful, radiant and lively, then everything else will come to manifest: the covetable external beauty (since your face and body will brim with health), and the recognition by others (since everybody will be attracted by your positive energy and yearn to be close to you), and the achievements in the material field (since you will be cheerful and active and consequently have a clear mind to make correct and profitable choices).
“But, even if you do not receive all these worldly rewards, it will not matter, because they are not the real purpose of the attitude change; they are but some positive side benefits that could probably occur by the change of your internal attitude. It will not benefit you to charge them with expectation, because then you will lose again your bearings and fall into the trap of complexity, demand and autocracy. Therefore, always remember that the one and only purpose of the attitude change is the very inner joy and love for the self, the feeling of deep contentment and fullness, that is to say the stably founded happiness. In other words, the true purpose of the change of your internal attitude is the bliss which will emerge simply and naturally, and not the acquisitions or achievements which may come up as its consequence”.
 This is an aphorism from Socrates, by which is manifested the conviction that no individual does wrong by his own will, in the sense that nobody does something while he knows that it is wrong. According to Socrates, if we do something wrong, this happens because at that particular moment we believe that we are doing something good. Socrates argued that only by the knowledge of the really good and the really wrong (a view which is connected with the idea of the existence of an objective truth) can somebody abstain from the wrong, by recognizing this knowledge as a virtue (source: Wikipedia)