The State of Freedom
A journey of Truth into the mind’s sanctuary
with the destination of inner Freedom.
Β13. The mind finds that he has been disorientated.
It is now obvious for the mind that in the past he has been disorientated for long time periods. This, of course, is something that he has already determined during the previous steps, but he has seen that it makes sense to declare and confess every single one of his mistakes distinctively, in order that each particular confession is registered in his memory separately, thus gaining effectual power for the future.
So, the mind confesses that he has been disorientated, as he has countless times pursued goals irrelevant to his initial and authentic goal, which was to enable my soul to approach the condition of absolute freedom within a lifetime; a freedom which would be inalterable and independent from all worldly influences, desires and aspirations. In simpler terms, his initial goal was to be happy, but along the way he was perplexed and therefore wove complex webs, mistook them for real and thought that he would find the way to unweave them by using resources which he would find somewhere within the external world. However, these resources proved to perplex the webs even more instead of unweaving them.
He confesses his mistake and quiets down, like every other time that he has practiced confession. But now the difference is that the confession comes along with several additional powerful tools which strengthen and support the benefit rendered by the confession. Thus, the mind knows that, immediately after tasting the familiar sweet serenity granted to him by each confession, it will be most beneficial for him to do one of the exercises he has been taught during the previous steps; whereas, on the contrary, during his early steps of this journey, after each confession there was but the chaos of ignorance; the serenity was not supported intellectually, thus making his backsliding to grief and anguish very probable and easy.