The State of Freedom
A journey of Truth into the mind’s sanctuary
with the destination of inner Freedom.
Β19. The mind makes himself humble
so as to get liberated.
By admitting his absolute incapability to force any inner changes, he felt a treasured feeling, which he has been given the chance to experience only a few times in his whole life: the delight of making himself humble, which equals to the liberation from the ego of the skillful person who must know everything and is supposed to be able to cope with all occasions so as to not let his social standing worsen and his self-esteem lower.
“I accept that I may be the most inferior of all”[1], the mind now acknowledges and, relieved, takes a deep breath. “I am not bound to be the most capable of all people; I no longer feel that I ought, at any rate, to become the starter of the changes which will be accomplished either inside me or outside me. Instead, I put total trust in the noiseless and peacefully transformative power of knowledge, which, as it grows and becomes richer by the time, causes the changes by itself, by its mere existence. I gladly accept the humiliation of my ego, which would very much like to prove to be able to change me and the whole world and hence be glorified and considered as worthy of great admiration. Thus, at last, I get rid of the holdup and the headache as well as the inner pressure which at times tended to burst my eyes out of their sockets, every time I saw that the status quo resisted”.
And the status quo is not only inside the mind. In the same extent it is also outside him, inside his worldly brothers, who have so often refused or been not interested to change so as to ameliorate themselves, thus causing him sorrow, anger, disappointment or even desperation. “I humbly accept that it is not I who will teach or preach any brother or sister. Besides, what do I know more than others so as to be able to teach them? I have just recently found a forgotten dusted file somewhere in my dark basement and have timidly and cautiously started to file the bars of my jail, and now I am as silly as to want to teach the whole world how to become liberated!
“With my sciolism I can only cause confusion to my brothers, because I barely know something about their current inner reality. I can only assume that it is most probably similar to mine. However, it takes one to know one. Hence, by assessing the others’ reality according to mine, I can lapse into very wrong estimations and give totally wrong instructions, which will not in the least be fit to some brothers’ special condition. ‘I know one thing, that I know nothing’, as the wise brother Socrates used to say. Therefore, ‘silence is gold’.
“Let me remember that always, whenever I open my mouth to give an advice, regardless how correct this advice may be and whether my motive is love and interest for the good of my brother, always there are, underlying and lurking – even if they are imperceptible due to their reduced intensity – the spiritual poisons of narcissism, comparison and haughtiness together with my yearn for distinction in the eyes of my brothers and for their admiration, gratitude or even adoration for my person. The reason for all this is that, always and ceaselessly, I am unknowingly looking for chances to compensate the countless hours of self-pity of the past in an instant yet futile way. So, let me not forget every time that I give somebody an advice, to confess this unavoidable truth, recognizing that it is but a normal, inextricable, legal, allowed and innocent part of my human nature.
“The only thing I can – and out of comradeship am bound to[2] want – to convey to my brothers is my own example, that is to say how I am fighting to free myself from my own prison. Furthermore, I want to do this with no expectation that there will be somebody found to follow my example, not even with the demand that there will be somebody to accept to listen to what I have to say, for the reason that my method may be appropriate only for me and not anyone else and, hence, it is probable that nobody will be interested to learn about it. In such a case, it will have no sense for me to feel that I failed or to assume that the others lost the opportunity of their life by refusing to follow my example. Because then I will have lost my humility and along with it also will have been lost the freedom which humility offers me, not to mention that I will have needlessly burdened my brothers with loads of negative thoughtforms.
“So, I confess my aspiration that my brothers will approve these writings, as well as my expectation that they will be helped by reading them. I acknowledge that this aspiration is but a justifiable immature desire of mine, which is exclusively due to my many years’ inferiority complexes, which vainly and avidly yearn for redemption through the others’ admiration. Let me now forgo this desire and listen into my humble need to share my anguished fight for freedom with brothers who are at the same time giving – or maybe not giving at all – their own personal fight every single one of them. I abandon the ego of the ambitious reformer here and now, and relieved I admit to be unequal to this role, regardless if my vanity flirts with it, and, instead, I espouse my humble agony to be blessed with loving comrades and fellow travelers for mutual support during our inner struggle to liberate ourselves from our own boundaries”.
[1] This statement has been inspired from the paramount example of the enlightened brother Dalai Lama, as well as many other saints of all religions.
[2] “Bound”: One more manifestation of the mind’s obsessive self-repression, which was immediately detected and replaced by the pacific “want”. A forced comradeship can never be an authentic one; it can only be a mind’s fixation which overwhelms with misery and shrinkage both me and my brothers to whom I direct it, instead of filling us with joy and heart openness.